Gaslighting and Its Impact
Counselling and Psychotherapy in Scotland, Moray


Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic that undermines a person’s perception of reality, leaving them doubting their own experiences and sanity. Coined from the 1944 film “Gaslight,” where the protagonist’s husband intentionally manipulates her, gaslighting has since become a recognised form of emotional abuse. In this blog, we will delve into the insidious nature of gaslighting, its effects on victims, and ways to recognise and counteract this destructive behaviour.

  1. Defining Gaslighting: Gaslighting involves distorting the truth, denying facts, and using psychological tactics to make the victim question their memories, thoughts, and feelings. It often occurs gradually, leaving the victim confused, vulnerable, and dependent on the gaslighter for their sense of reality. The manipulation techniques can include blatant lies, minimising feelings, shifting blame, and creating confusion.
  2. Recognising Gaslighting: Gaslighting can happen in various relationships, including romantic partnerships, family dynamics, friendships, or professional settings. It is essential to be aware of the warning signs that may indicate gaslighting, such as constant denial or contradiction of your experiences, trivialising your emotions, blaming you for their actions, and making you doubt your own sanity. Trusting your instincts and recognising these patterns is crucial.
  3. The Emotional Impact: Gaslighting seriously affects the victim’s emotional well-being. Over time, it erodes self-confidence and self-esteem, leading to self-doubt and a loss of personal identity. Gaslighting victims often experience anxiety, depression, feelings of worthlessness, and a sense of isolation. The manipulative nature of gaslighting can leave lasting scars on one’s mental health and overall quality of life.
  4. Breaking Free: Escaping the grip of gaslighting requires strength, support, and self-care. Here are some strategies to help break free:

a. Recognise the manipulation: Educate yourself about gaslighting and its tactics. Understanding what you are experiencing can empower you to reclaim your reality.

b. Trust your intuition: Gaslighters aim to make you doubt your instincts. You regain control over your judgment by reaffirming your trust in your gut feelings.

c. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide validation, perspective, and emotional support.

d. Document your experiences: Keeping a record of incidents can help you validate your own reality and provide evidence if needed.

e. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and assert your needs. Communicate your feelings and expectations to the gaslighter, but prioritise your safety and well-being.

f. Practice self-care: Prioritise self-care activities that promote healing, self-esteem, and mental well-being. Engage in hobbies, seek therapy, practice mindfulness, and surround yourself with positive influences.

  1. Promoting Awareness and Change: Gaslighting thrives in silence and secrecy. By speaking up and raising awareness about this manipulation tactic, we can break its power and foster a supportive environment that empowers victims. Educating ourselves and others about healthy relationships, boundaries, and emotional abuse is crucial in dismantling the cycle of gaslighting.

Conclusion: Gaslighting is a profoundly damaging form of emotional abuse that can leave lasting scars on its victims. Recognising the signs, seeking support, and reclaiming our sense of reality are essential steps towards healing and breaking free from the manipulative grasp of gaslighting. By spreading awareness and fostering understanding, we can create a world where gaslighting has no place, and individuals can embrace their truths without fear. Remember, you are not alone, and your reality matters.